Eeep!

Okay, I haven't been looking forward to this post. But I feel like it must be posted.

As you know, my blog is a happy place. A place where you can just enjoy a few moments of each day laughing at a video or enjoying my wonderful sense of humor (wink)
I called it the right place... not only because it's the best place on the internet (wink) but because it puts you in a right place. Makes you happy for a moment or two... I hope... And a little self-promotion never hurt...
All I'm saying is that this post will get a little serious... It will lead to a happier end, though.

Still here? Nope? I'll continue anyway...

For those of you who have met me, well, I'm certainly not the smallest person. Both in height and width. We all know this. It's been a problem I've had for pretty much as long as I can remember. I've been overweight for most of my life. There are only a few people in this world who have seen me when I was a skinny little boy. All the rest have known the Mason I am today. Still cheery, goofy, funny, and a friend... (Again) I hope... But worst of all, fat.

At a recent event I was attending I had the displeasure of hearing myself be described to someone so they could find me in a room.
"He's tall, loud, balding, and fat." I didn't know who they were looking for until I heard the description. Even I knew how to spot me in a crowd. It had become as though this flaw was a permanent part of my personality. Not only was it a part of me physically I felt as though it had become a part of me mentally. Like if you had told me to lose weight I felt like was being attacked or insulted. Weird stuff.

You're off the edge of the map, you're sure you want to continue? Alright.

"Dead men tell no tales..!"


Anyway, recently I've had a bit of a change up. I have found out that I cannot go on my mission until I lose a certain amount weight. This news was not shocking. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was not going to be able go just yet.
I was told by my parents that the bishop said I can't go unless I lose the weight. I went home that night, we were at Mackey's baseball game, went to my room and sat. I sat down for a while. I was thinking.
I was thinking about how I let myself do this. How I let myself go so badly. The first thirty minutes was me beating myself up. I was angry at myself. Furious that I had screwed up so royally that my own church had to tell me that I was too fat.
I broke my own heart.
After I thoroughly and viciously tarred and feathered my own mind I found myself on my knees. Praying for help. My thoughts were clear and precise.
"Help me learn to love this." Referring to the new path I was about to take. After I finished my prayer I picked myself up, literally and figuratively speaking, and my mind was different. I knew I wanted to do this. I knew I was going to do this and, come Hell or high water, I was going to accomplish my goal.
Since that night I have put myself on health watch. I have put myself on a food budget. I have added more strenuous exercise to my days and have been amazingly blessed. I've lost over twenty pounds and I'm still dropping. I had a bit of a slow start with all of the wedding open houses we had but immediately picked it right back up and lost eleven pounds just from last Saturday!
I'm in an extremely good place right now and I intend to stay that way.
I'm on my way!

For those of you still reading, thank you. I appreciate you bearing with me this awfully revealing post.

Till next time,
Mason.